Ask Marian

Got Questions? Got Problems? Librarian Beat's advice columnist has the answers.


Dear Marian,

There’s a cute dad who brings his son to my storytime. He’s been coming for about two months and he usually hangs around after storytime is over and we chat a little, but that’s it. How can I tell if he’s single? How can I tell if he’s interested? He’s friendly and nice and sometimes I think he’s interested in me, but then I wonder if he’s just being polite. Last week he touched my arm when he was laughing at something I said – does that mean he likes me? I’m going nuts! Please help.

Signed,
Not Understanding The Signs



Dear NUTS,

Ah, the cute maybe-single dad, the bane of many young librarians’ existence. First, NUTS, I’m going to assume that you’ve checked for a wedding ring. Lack of a ring doesn’t guarantee single status these days, but it’s a good place to start. (And, seriously, married guys, slap on a ring or mention your wife early in the conversation and save us single girls a lot of unnecessary obsessing and confusion, will you?)

Now, some less-scrupulous advice columnists might suggest looking up your love interest’s library record and checking for women at the same address or with the same last name. I’m afraid that’s just not cool, NUTS. You’re going to have to put on your big-girl panties and tackle this one head-on.

That’s right, NUTS, you’re going to have to ask him. Now, we’re not talking a profession of your undying love here, but the next time you’re wrapping up your post-storytime chat try saying, “I’ve got to get back to the desk, but would you like to continue this conversation over coffee sometime?” We can’t guarantee he’ll say yes, but any reasonable man will be flattered by such an invite. Plus, you’ll spare yourself another two months of chatting amongst the puppets and big books while overanalyzing every gesture he makes. From what you’ve said it sounds like he may be interested, but there’s only one sure way to find out. Be casual, be cute, and be ready to put the image of the meek librarian to bed.