Thursday, January 29, 2009

February Horoscopes

Librarian Beat's in-house astrologer lets you know what to expect this month.

Aries: (March 21 – April 19) You are full of big ideas this month, but certain stodgy coworkers are determined to block your efforts. Never forget that you are a brilliant visionary, and overcoming your opposition in ways that are both thorough and diplomatic is merely one extra step on your way to greatness. And while you’re taking those steps, don’t forget a pair of fantastic boots to make your climb all the better!

Taurus: (April 20 – May 20) That stubborn will of yours could get you in trouble if you’re not careful this month. Try to be a little more flexible with your friends and coworkers. A new whirlwind romance might be just around the corner, if only you can forget your rule about only dating someone without a Masters.

Gemini: (May 21 – June 21) Your sympathetic nature will make patrons and coworkers flock to you with their problems this month. Don’t be afraid to dole out a little advice, but remember to keep some emotional distance. You especially don’t want that creepy patron to get too attached, or you’ll never get rid of him.

Cancer: (June 22 – July 22) Those notorious crab claws of yours never like to let anything go, but it’s time to discard some things from your life this month. Try weeding your collection of those shabby 70s paperbacks and tossing a few high school fashion choices. If something isn’t serving your awesome self this month, it’s time to say goodbye. And why hang on to an unfulfilling old romance when there’s a hot new cataloger to meet in tech services?

Leo: (July 23 – August 22) We know how you tend to roar when censorship is suggested, but you might want to try a little self-censoring this month. Your coworker doesn’t need to hear that Stacy and Clinton would throw up their hands in horror over her work wardrobe, and sharing every criticism you have of your director won’t win you any favors when promotions become available.

Virgo: (August 23 – September 22) Expect to do some traveling this month: perhaps on an exciting spur-of-the-moment destination date, or maybe to an out of state professional conference. Wherever you’re going, be sure to pack wisely and keep your wits about you during happy hour.

Libra: (September 23 – October 22) As Libra is ruled by Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and aesthetic, you are always at the height of fashion whether giving a presentation to city council, or just hanging out at book club. And somebody new is going to be paying attention to you this month. Beauty tip: Mixing more than two argyle items in one outfit is only for experts!

Scorpio: (October 23 – November 21) A rare fit of temper could leave you wanting to tear your hair out this month, but try to just let it go. Yes you spent years of your life and dug yourself deep into debt to become a librarian, all because of your love of literature and a burning desire to serve the community, but some days you’re still going to have to deal with lunatics and direct people to the bathroom. You may as well just get used to it.

Sagittarius: (November 22 – December 21) You are one adventurous librarian, and it shows this month in everything from you outfit choices to you additions to the collection! Make that crazy spirit work for your career by taking on challenges your coworkers are too nervous to attempt. Organizing a poetry slam for teen patrons? You can do it. Getting your coworkers to play Rock Band during a staff meeting? Easy! You can do anything you put your mind to this month.

Capricorn: (December 22 – January 19) Hardworking Capricorn might need a break this month. Everyone knows you’re the go-to librarian when something important needs to get done, but let yourself loosen up and have a little fun as well! Try chatting with your reference desk partner during lulls, surf the web on your break, and consider a night out with your book club. You deserve it, and work will still be there tomorrow!

Aquarius: (January 20 – February 18) The stars are aligning for you this month! You are one glamorous bibliophile, and you know that any librarian who believes nobody makes passes at girls who wear glasses simply doesn’t have the right frames. Work that star power while it’s at its peak, and toss a wink at that sexy single parent who comes to story time.

Pisces: (February 19 - March 20) Everyone knows you’re a great listener, whether you’re conducting a reference interview or taking in all the staff gossip. You are the master of information in more ways than one. But while you’re keeping everyone else’s secrets this month, be sure to keep your own as well! Nobody needs to know about your crush on the library IT guy until you decide it’s time.

(ed. note: Anyone else humming that Weird Al song now? No? Just me? Okay. )


  1. OH MY GOD MINE IS SO TOPICAL. Scary. (Cancer, btw)

  2. I'm a Virgo, so I always pack wisely. So long as "wisely" means "for every possible occurrence"

  3. my libra works perfectly as well...i am ALWAYS fashionable at book club.

    oh wait...wasn't i wearing sweatpants last time?

    as for someone knew paying attention to me, this morning a patron asked me if i wanted to go to vegas with him.

  4. I'm a cancer, but I don't see how I could possibly be discarding things when I'm volunteering at the used book sale this weekend. Unless it's discarding other stuff around my house to make up for all the books I'm going to bring home.

  5. These are by Lindsay, by the way! She just didn't have posting ability yet.